Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
