Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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