I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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