I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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