i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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