so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
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