I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
