I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
