Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
