we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
