there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
how does that bad decision feel?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
