I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
