Heybabeimwearingurpanties
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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