Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Come share oat with me in your robe
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
