took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
