also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
