How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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