ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
