I just made out with a guy for $7.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
