wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
