Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
