Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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