is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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