Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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