win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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