Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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