oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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