i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize