So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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