can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
