We tried having a conversation with our noses.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
