Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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