I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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