she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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