Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
