one might say we're banned from that church
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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