They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
