chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
