my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
