No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
