Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
