I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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