I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
