My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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