Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
