I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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