smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
