He uses pillows to masturbate.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
