i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize