I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
