currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
