Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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