sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
