i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
