Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
