are you so shy because you have an std?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
