I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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