remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
