wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
