I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
