omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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