Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
