don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize