i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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