we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
