i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You need a sexual gate keeper
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
